Knowledge Gleaned: Part 2- Culture shock
It only took 2 years to write part 2…and only now just coming up with words for the culture shock. It may have something to do with having the shock not once but twice with our big in-country move after a mere 9 months. Or maybe because now we’ve gotten to see others come in and adjust…so things we have normalized stick out again. Or maybe partially not wanting to offend or minimize how different things can be just within parts of this city. But mostly it’s all those things.
Culture shock— we were warned. We prepared. We had ideas of where we’d react the strongest and what our weak points were. We still probably couldn’t identify half the things we’ve adjusted to. Sometimes they come up with anger at their side…or laughter…or just a look of raised eyebrows to each other as our secret way to say “Yup, you saw that right? I’m not crazy?”. And let’s be honest, we seemed to have gotten the extra special experience on so many things here— visas, drivers licenses, critters, cars, bank accounts, bus passes…. did we say cars and visas?
I’ve tried to take notes. I’ve tried to remember. I want to remember- where the comfortable ended. Where we learned. Where we relied on God because nothing we did, and I mean NOTHING, made it better or different or fixed it. And please hear me when I say, we are by no means experts, or past the learning. This will be lifelong. We have had the privilege of living in various regions in 2 countries and traveling to more…and things vary no matter where you go, who you live with, and the size of town or city you do life in.
So how long did the weird hard part last? Hard to say. I do remember thinking the first day was a week long and the first week felt like a month. Y’all if you haven’t seen the movie Jumanji (the original), you must. That was what we liken to our first 24 hours in country to. The critters started piling into our house that had been empty prior to us for months. Sleep was few and far between. It was hot. And we had to make the careful decision of which critter to chance each night—- red ants, something unknown flopping in the PVC ceiling, or bats. (There were more types of critters, but those were the most likely to meet us on the mattress that we put on the floor). Turns out a good way to meet the neighbors is to put out an S.O.S. to your teammates and the neighbors will all show up to see why the foreigners are freaking out—with ant spray. *Once people did see the photo that yes, in fact the noise in the ceiling was a giant dead rat Chris eventually punted with the broom to its messy demies… they had more compassion. But that was an on-going battle for most of the time we lived there that we’ll save for a different time.
In the early weeks/months/etc. there was a lot of blaring music that I took my anger out with (Taylor swift… I’m not usually a fan but her stuff hit the spot). That is until I realized the regular child-like screaming coming from over the wall was actually a parrot. Who talked. Who repeated what it heard…
We were frustrated. We kept running into shut doors for visas. We realized all our plans could come crumbling down at any second if we couldn’t stay. We lived in a strange world of post pandemic rules and regulations, uncertainties of any future plans (including our teammates ability to stay), and South American scheduling—i.e. an entire day to maybe accomplish one thing. Oh, and we were in the middle of a small farm town with no cell reception, spotty electricity, and where Ubers were afraid to come. That’s when the journaling was most frequent, and the tears were most plentiful.
Things that stick out from those early days in the Northeast that were HARD:
Giant spiders, bats, rats, frogs, roaches, red ants and their poop…in our house, in our kitchen, and possibly in our bed to snuggle.
Fortaleza was Hot!! Fans ran 24/7. Our roof would allow it to mist inside during every rain. And showers had one temp based on ground water. Sweating all the time.— houses here are subject to outside temps. (which also means we freeze in the south),
Mold. This may be the single hardest thing for my adjustment to Brazil. It’s constant. Nothing is off limits- every type of material grows it. And I’m allergic. I was not at all prepared for this. (There has been some improvement and adjustment since then)
Fully relied on others to get groceries, to the beach, to anywhere without a car. (But more options than where we lived prior).
Being exhausted and yet also so bored. Our schedules were very light. Things may or may not stay on the calendar and most all efforts were focused on staying in country.
Language learning in a region and town with a very thick accent, relying on audio messages, while mask mandates were still in place. Thank goodness Chris’ Portuguese carried us through as I understood almost nothing when we lived there.
Blessings from those hard moments:
Found an amazing Portuguese professor who is organized and was able to be the one steady thing that I’ve been able to continue even after we moved south. Chris was able to continue with what he learned pre-field and get us through all necessary areas when our teammates couldn’t accompany us.
We were able to finish our online schooling with our down time.
We appreciated the small neighborhood market, bike rides, and the gorgeous sunsets on the coast and truly taking in the beauty of the country as we both relax when we are in nature. It was the best way to handle the stress and decompress.
We ended up moving to the South to the 5th largest city in the world (22 million in metro area)— I would never have survived if we came here first. It has allowed us to appreciate the amenities in a landscape that is not our first or second choice.
We dug into journaling, reading the Bible, praying, reaching out to those who could counsel us, and figuring out how to work side by side as a couple almost 24/7.
Things we are realizing that we may never fully grasp or get used to- (the ones we are willing to mention out loud at least)
The traffic, the driving, and the constant chaos that happens while on the road. We spend minimally 15 hours in the car per week in the city.
The no clear cut rules, lists, or process to apply for a process or service.
We have a new appreciation for independent companies and them to rise or fall based on how well they provide their service. (we know this is becoming increasingly rare even back home.)
Scheduling more than one thing a day is just expecting a lot. But we sure keep trying.
The perfumed everything and high percentage of smoking population.
Trash and graffiti are present in almost all areas of the city. Green spaces and clean water are for the high end areas.
Is this all exhaustive? Was this blatant, crazy culture shock? Nope. Definitely not. This is after 5 previous visits to this country, too. When people ask, I usually say to expect those first 6 months to be HARD. And probably the first year even. Know yourself, know your limits. Find someone to talk with and pray with. Someone who gets that it’s just hard and sometimes you can’t explain why or how. Grow as you are able and most importantly humble yourself. Your way is not always best. Lean into the Lord and don’t try to move past this phase too quickly. You learn a lot here. I would even say this is the most important phase of all. It sets you up for how you’ll learn the rest of your time. and when coming and going in the future. It allows you to stop and notice- to both grieve what is different or gone and also note the little beautiful blessings.
I have realized our time preparing and being here has given me more compassion for others we meet- for those in hard living conditions, those far from home, those displaced. We’ve had a front row seat to hard, hard things- injustice, hurt, pain, suffering of those we serve and those we serve with. Evil things that are not of this world. And we are reminded day in and day out this life is fleeting and temporary. The comforts and fame and security and success will not give us happiness here nor beyond our earthly lives. We’ve gotten to explain to high schoolers how we have our identity first in God our creator and can know our identity in Him. We get to look to Him to know our purpose here and y’all it’s not for the reasons the world tells us. We get to glorify HIM! When we have declared our faith in Him, we will have eternal life that is grander than we could ever imagine. When we are secure in our identity and our purpose, we are released with a BOLDNESS to live for the things he calls us to while we are here on this earth and that my friend is where the adventure begins!
